Hilarious Headlines – July 2013

As blog regulars will know, part of my work entails sifting my way through the food industry trade news every week. This is by no means as dry a task as it seems, just take a look at those headline gems I came across during one week in July:

Beef Packer Fined over Safety Breeches (09 July 2013, themeatsite.com)

Were they just a bit too tight around his package, I wonder…?

Police Raids Uncover Packs of Chicken Feet from 1967 (09 July 2013, themeatsite.com)

Only in China…!

Ketchup Company Rep Smuggles 4 Million Tomato Seeds into Israel (17 July 2013, freshplaza.com)

I want to know which poor sod had to count them!!!

Was the rep dressed like this, I wonder…?

Study: Eating Eggs Not Linked to High Cholesterol in Adolescentsy (20 July 2013, nutritionhorizon.com)

I just love it when they make up cutesy new words… (sadly they have fixed this now, so the link will only show the corrected headline & article)

Royal Baby to Boost British Food and Drink Sales (23 July 2013, foodmanufacture.co.uk)

That’s this week. Next week, the crumply pink worm will end global warming and make Berlusconi retire to a Tuscan monastery, I’m sure of it.

EFSA: ‘We Have Received Comments That Our Opinions Are Written by a Bunch of Nerds’ (19 July 2013, foodnavigator.com)

EFSA stands for European Food Safety Authority, which is based in Parma, Italy. They are the scientific assessment body that advises the European Commission on food safety issues. In my opinion, they do a pretty good job. The food industry hates them, because they won’t let companies get away with making all sorts of ludicrous health claims on their products. Needless to say, EFSA-related articles in the trade press tend to be spiked with ire.

Tesco Apologises for ‘Supermouse’ Incident (19 July 2013, foodmanufacture.co.uk)

Was it dressed in blue-red-white Tesco colours?

Green Coffee Firm Sledged Over Colon Sludge Claims (24 July 2013, nutraingredients.com)

Appetising…!  …and… ‘sledged’?? But anything’s allowed when you’re racking your brains to come up with a catchy(?) title for an article – I can totally relate 😉