Bake? Me?! Not In A Million Years!!! …Frankenkipferl, Anyone?

I EAT baked goods not MAKE them. Everybody knows this. And I stick to my principles.

But my resolve buckled on Saturday, when my friend Lorena asked if I wanted to come over to make Vanillekipferl with her. Those are one of the many kinds of traditional German Christmas biscuits referred to as Plätzchen, and it is every German female’s patriotic duty to churn out 100 trays of them between December 1st and Christmas Eve. If you fail to do this, and, God forbid, you are a mother, your children will be taken away from you.

Anyway, back to the story. I’ve never made Plätzchen in my life, except, of course, with my mother when I was little, and the irony of being roped into this quintessentially Teutonic seasonal pursuit by a Spanish friend wasn’t lost on me.

Enough butter for a quick heart attack before dinner...?

Enough butter for a quick heart attack before dinner…? Flour, sugar and ground almonds are all that’s needed besides.

Lined up like little soldiers, ready for the oven...

Lined up like little soldiers, ready for the oven…

Now, just to show you what the finished article is meant to look like:

Pro Kipferl

And this is how our long-laboured-over creations emerged from the oven:

Oooops... more slug than kipferl shaped...

Oooops… more like steamrollered slugs than kipferl … but hey, it’s not like I didn’t warn Lorena about my Medusa’s touch with anything kitchen-related

A generous shovelful of vanilla sugar certainly helps to hide their imperfections....

A generous shovelful of vanilla sugar helped a great deal to hide our mutants’ imperfections… almost appetising, you have to admit!

Never mind aesthetics, on the taste front, they were a 10 out of 10 🙂

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45 thoughts on “Bake? Me?! Not In A Million Years!!! …Frankenkipferl, Anyone?

      1. Expat Eye

        Isn’t she? They definitely looked better with the sugar on top 😉 But I guess the taste is the important thing – we can’t all be domestic goddesses first time round (except for me) 😉

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      1. Zyriacus

        Food is not to be looked at – it is to be EATEN. So, no matter what your Vanillikipferl look like – all is ok if they taste like meant to. Mrs Z this year made them in S shape – just for fun – and they are tasting like heaven!

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  1. wannabe polyglot

    Haha, doesn’t matter what it looks like really, does it? Also less butter = nicer shape? I’d have to think about that!
    I’m not a baker either, but I made a Gritibänz on Friday that turned out despite the crap they sell for yeast here. Did you eat these as a kid?

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      1. ladyofthecakes Post author

        FEB????? That’s flippin’ ages!
        You’ll have passed with flying colours, of course, so here’s a preemptive CONGRATS 🙂
        Well, that’s all out of the way now, so you can focus on your Portuguese again.

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  2. camparigirl

    A Lady of the Cakes who doesn’t bake?? Guess work from the pastry chef in residence here (who just cannot restrain herself):
    1. they were not cold enough when they went in or
    2. the oven was not high enough and the dough wasn’t schocked into holding its shape but slowly “sat down”.
    Will bake a batch and Fed Ed them over!

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  3. barbedwords

    They look amazing! Home baked Christmas goodies are just the best…although I am feeling slightly queazy at the sight of all that butter but I guess if the mixture made a shedload of biccies, each one would only contain a tiny bit of butter. Oh, who cares anyway – it’s Christmas!

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  4. Lynda

    What a fun post and comments! Learned a few tricks and more than a few words for German delicacies! I’m off to shock a few kipferl into submission in my own test kitchen…
    Wish me luck!

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    Reply
  5. bevchen

    A friend of mine tried to make Vanillekipferl once… except he didn’t realise he was supposed to make SMALL crescents so he made this giant things. And he’s German… how could he not know what a Vanillkipferl is supposed to look like?!

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  6. Pingback: Raiding Mum’s Christmas Baking | Lady Of The Cakes

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