Ready For Your (Belated) Women’s Day Special…? Chew On That, Bitches!

If you were lucky enough to be female AND in China on 08 March 2016, someone may have presented you with this to show you their appreciation:

International Women's Day China

Love those perky little mushrooms…

What’s this? I hear you ask.

It’s not chocolates.

It’s not flowers.

It’s not Gloria Steinem’s Empowering Fudge Brownie Cubes.

And – thank God! – it’s not a bag of salad either.

It’s dried BEEF STICKS. In a gift pack.

Premium jerky, if you will. Six of them, individually wrapped. Promoted as a “special treat for women” on yesterday’s joyous occasion that was International Women’s Day. The purveyor, Sentai Foods, with a reported slaughtering capacity of 30,000 cattle per annum, is evidently China’s most emancipated meat processor.

This is what is says on the packaging:

“You see, this is what REAL women like to get their teeth into. Shoo, shoooo all you little vegan princesses clutching your mewling bairns to your bony chests down The Sustainable Oat Flake Café while completing the multiple choice final exam for your MSc in AntiFrackingology on your iPhones. And, please, take your fairtrade banana bread and your rainbow frog coffee in unbleached sandpaper cups with you.”

(OK, I made that bit up, but as far as I understand, you cram a hell of a lot of info into just a few Chinese characters.)

Now, in case you want to get your teeth into some of those beefy Girl Chews, the product is available from a popular Chinese internet shopping site called JingDong (jd.com).

I must confess, after having facebook et al. vomit go-be-proud-you-were-born-with-a-gash-between-your-legs messages for 24-hours straight, finding this news item (on globalmeatnews.com, where else!?) totally made my day.

I don’t know about you, but I just can’t wait for next Valentine’s day… ooooh, let it be hickory-smoked chicken feet on a battery-operated stick! The company might even go for a little rebranding… SentaiMental Foods, perhaps?

[Here is the link to the original article, in case anyone’s thinking I’m making this shit up…]

 

 

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71 thoughts on “Ready For Your (Belated) Women’s Day Special…? Chew On That, Bitches!

  1. Debbie Smyth

    I was thinking of doing a Women’s Day post yesterday but couldn’t think of an unusual angle. Glad I didn’t bother as yours would have made me feel like a low achiever.
    Hilarious!
    Should I go out with a Chinese man in the future I will make my gift requirements very clear in advance!!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  2. joannesisco

    I’m glad I wasn’t drinking or eating anything while I was reading this post. I would have spewed it all over my computer when I got to the part about what was written on the packaging. OMG – that was inspired writing!!

    Like

    Reply
      1. ladyofthecakes Post author

        Ha, ha you WOULD do that, wouldn’t you?! Oooooh, those sickly sweet gooey centres…! But… am trying to be good. I’ve just turned down my mum’s offering to send me eggnog German Easter eggs. And that took some moral fibre, I tell ya!

        I shall love you forever for this, though 🙂

        Like

  3. BerLinda

    Maybe they could come up with a whole range for next year – beef-flavoured choccies, beef-flavoured (edible) flowers… the possibilities are enormooooooous 😉 Happy belated Gash Day!

    Like

    Reply
  4. Kim G

    Uh, let’s see…meat sticks for women “to chew on” which are advertised surrounded by perky little mushrooms. Could this just be some clever way to get men to buy these things so they can hope that it really is better to give than to receive? At least as a first move?

    Hysterical post, as always, especially the made-up bit.

    Saludos,

    Kim G
    CDMX, México
    Where we must be an accidental misogynist as we completely failed to notice International Women’s Day.

    Like

    Reply
      1. ladyofthecakes Post author

        BTW, I asked a colleague what the writing on the pack meant. She said: “beef with an attitude, mushroom flavoured beef. Side note: full of vitamins and quality protein.” Am a bit disappointed now 😦

        Liked by 1 person

  5. TheLastWord

    Doesn’t it feel good to get a good rant in? I’ve been known to indulge in a good rant myself, on occasion, 🙂 but is there any point, I ask myself? They’re far too stupid to get it.

    I must confess, I loved the “mewling bairns to your bony chests” bit…..

    I’m slowly fading away from FB. As an indian with plenty of American and Indian friends, the political bullshit combined with religious claptrap has reached death ray levels….

    Like

    Reply
      1. TheLastWord

        oh yeah… I’ve been turning people’s feed off like a mad man the last few weeks. I even, unfriended one who accused me “and others of my ilk who aid and abet terrorists”. 🙂 🙂

        Like

  6. heatherinde

    Hey, feminists like meat sticks, too!

    And not sure if I lived under a rock or what, but I don’t think I was even aware there was such a thing as Internation Women’s Day until I moved to Germany. Perhaps I heard a whisper of it when I was in the Czech Republic, but not that I recall. And never anything when I still lived in the States. No feminists there, I guess.

    Like

    Reply
  7. camparigirl

    Made me laugh. Women’s day is not really celebrated in the US but I still get inance messages from Europe (although, it is women’s history month here). Now that I have forsaken beef forever, it’s quite lucky I don’t live in China. My dogs would have been happy though.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Pingback: One of those “days” | Expat Eye on Germany

  9. Oleg

    Once I tried a chunk of duck neck, also packed in candy format, but hermetically. I wouldn’t be surprised if they also have candied frog legs or locusts 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
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