Happy Dog In The Sea

Needs no further explanation 🙂

Even her rear end emanates happiness 😉

 

 

Princess Pugsy – The Star Of Key West

Two years ago, when my friends emigrated to from the UK to the US, Princess Pugsy made her way across the choppy Atlantic on the Queen Mary, because no aircraft carrier would allow her to travel in the only manner befitting her status, namely unsedated and as hand lap luggage.

She was well-received, not just on her new island home, but also when she cropped up in a couple of my blog posts before, so I thought I’d share these:

Cosied up at home

Ready to paint the town red

Breaking the local laws

Mummy’s pride and joy

“Helping” Daddy with emails

Key West is just crazy about dogs. See those übercool doggies I uploaded last month, in case you missed them.

It’s A Dog’s Life In Key West

Key West is a dog lover’s paradise. Pooches of all breeds and sizes are being paraded around, often in hilarious outfits. We were sitting outside a cafe at lunchtime yesterday when these two rolled up:

Note the übercool shades…! The girl (I guess it’s a girl coz of the blue bow on her head), was firmly in charge of The Ball. They sat there for a good 20 mins on their scooter, not moving an inch, until…

…their owner returned with a slice of pizza for them. He’s about to give them a drink 🙂

Lovely Lisbon… Enjoy The Men!

Several of you (no need to mention names, we all know who you are!) have been bugging me about Portuguese men since my trip to Lisbon.

I’ve not been giving the “homens” nearly as much attention as The Cakes, but one can’t be too selfish with a raucous audience to please. So, I’ve rifled through my photos and picked out those featuring male specimens. Though I can’t vouch for their representativeness…

Surely, this is what every girl dreams about:

… some hot, steamy squash soup at the end of the day!

…but maybe dreamy boys are more your thing…?

…waaay too exhausted to work…! I wonder from what?!

Now here’s one who’s made an effort! Ready for your date??

Maybe if he ditched the costume and swapped the balloons for some flowers chocolates…?

Now that’s more like it!

Ben Affleck, The Kaiser and Legolas rolled into one!

Soz… got distracted from the top half of this specimen by the cute puppy chewing away at the foot end.

Street Snaps: The Penis Bride, Seeing Red, And A Caption Competition!

Brides-to-be… oh, how they agonise for months, years, even decades(!) over THE PERFECT DRESS! Then the big day finally arrives… and their ensemble may not be every inch the epitome of elegance in the way they had intended. At least not from every angle…

Does she or does she not look like a giant penis?!

There’s some serious hat envy going on here:

“Well, I bought mine first, so I’m keeping it on!”

What is it with garishly coloured hair, I wonder? I had a school friend once who dyed her long mane blue. She was 16, very beautiful, and it looked great. But why is it that middle-aged women are going for red? And I don’t mean the natural redhead look in an effort to hide the grey, oh no, it’s an all-out ****LOOK AT ME I’M HERE!!!**** tabasco sauce red.

IF there’s any life on Alpha Centauri, their WMDs will be trained on YOU!

…and YOU!

Yes, lady, that dress would so totally complete your look!

Leopard Print – The Sordid Sequel

Do you remember this lady from my leopard print rant a couple of weeks ago?

Well, this week, I spotted her doppelgänger:

I ruminated over this last one for ages, only to draw a complete and utter blank. So, I thought, I’d leave it to my very witty and inventive readers to think of a catchy caption. The guy sitting behind the bench, in case you can’t quite make it out, is actually dressed as a monk. I’ve no idea what he’s planning to do there.

Any suggestions???

That’s it for this week, peeps. If you’re a new reader and you want to catch up on the rest of the Street Snaps series, just click here.

Street Snaps: The Hideous Tops Special

Saturday afternoon, when I was out on my weekly Street Snaps mission, was beautifully warm and sunny. People got into position…

…for a spot of sunbathing…

…and to take pics from all humanly possible angles

Anyway, let’s get to the meat of it. Ahem. Over there past few months of stalking about the streets of Toledo, one “fashion” phenomenon was particularly hard to miss: The prevalence of ghastly patterned tops, primarily (but not exclusively) worn by middle aged and older women.

I’m neither an advocate of dull clothes nor of sombre solid colours, but surely, there is a line between cheerful and garish…? Evidently not.

Some of the pics are a bit blurry, but you’ll get the idea…

Did anyone call Spiderwoman…?
Those fridge magnets will make a splendid addition to your (no doubt very tastefully decorated) home.

OK… although you have almost the same dimensions as a church window, the stained glass effect isn’t nearly as flattering on you.

If you look at it for long enough, this thing actually stares back at you… scary!

Madam, if I may give you some spiritual advice…less looking at saints, more looking at yourself… IN THE MIRROR!

Yeah, I can see how hard you’re working it, ladies, but it’s just NOT WORKING!

Perfect outfit! …for target practice.

I remember we had bed sheets like that… IN THE SEVENTIES!

You’ve probably had enough of this by now. And I don’t blame you!

As usual, I’m finishing off with cute dogs. Of course, they are also decked out in tops for the occasion 😉

…and even pants!

Poor poppet, someone’s chewed off his ear 😦

[To view the Street Snaps series, click here.]

Street Snaps: Mummies At Large & A Leopard Print Rantathon

Another week, another round of frightfully frumpy tourists. I don’t even have words for this:

We’re clearly in Halloween week now, there’s mummies on the loose!

And now, let’s turn to a favourite topic of mine: The merits (or NOT!) of animal print. There’s no escaping it this season, it’s absolutely everywhere. I guess I am a tad biased here, because I grew up with the firmly engrained dogma that leopard print garments were the sole domain of desperate women ‘of a certain age’ who were hell-bent on fighting the unbearable phenomenon of middle-aged invisibility with a sledge hammer.

For the Brits among you, the best known personification of sa(i)d strategy is probably publican Bet Lynch. (Bet Lynch, see left, was a much-beloved character on the long-running British soap Coronation Street).

OK, I will concede that an animal print accessory or item of clothing can, on occasions, look quite stylish, and pretty young women would get away with wearing a crown of dead squirrels on their head. On a mature lady, a nice zebra-striped scarf or snake skin bag can complete an outfit. But there are limits. And we’ll be looking at some pics now where those limits have been transgressed.

I mean, honestly: Is this in any way flattering???? The teenager behind (wearing a tiger sweater, amusingly enough) can’t seem to believe it either!

What does this say to you?
“I have a sexy wild side, come get me!” Or…
“I’m camouflaging a troublesome skin condition!”

No, no, NOOOOOOOOOO!

To counteract the awfulness of all of the above, how about a teensy dog in human clothes:

You are cute, too, but I’m not quite sure you could pull off this outfit…

To view the rest of the Street Snaps series, click here.

70’s Flashbacks: Meet My Best Friend. Ever.

Which one is it…? (I’m the one on the left, btw.)

No, it’s neither of those queer looking girls, heaven forbid! The one on the right I fell out with when we were 11, and we haven’t spoken since (sounds pathetic, which it is, and were we still living in the same country, we’d have fixed this by now). Her cousin, the one in the middle, who looks a bit like a mole, was totally insufferable. She always had to be the leader in every game, regardless of whether one was required or not. Even my mother only ever referred to her as “The Boss”. I’m by no means a natural-born leader, but equally untalented as a follower, so the three of us were doomed from the start.

But I digress. My bestest friend of all time, as you’ll probably have guessed by now, was the dog. My dad acquired him from a US airbase nearby. The owner was returning to the States and could not take him. His original name was Snoopy (yes, very original…!), but as this is awkward for Germans to pronounce, it was approximated to Schnuppi. My mum, terrified of all dogs, turned the poor animal’s arrival into a huge drama, and Schnuppi had to be tied up to the railings outside the front door.

This state of affairs didn’t last long – three hours at the most – before my mum was won over by his heartbreakingly sad eyes and rabbitty back legs. Schnuppi was as stubborn as dachshunds come, and just as loyal. He was not a yapper, but when he did decide to voice his excitement, his bark was sonorous, low pitched and slightly husky.

A pampered family pet, he lived to the ripe old age of 15 and was buried in the very centre of his kingdom that was my grandparents’ garden, beneath a voluptuous spruce.

Aw, my precious friend…you never took the piss, not even when they wrangled me into the most ridiculous outfits

Though your back may have been turned, you were looking out for me as I plodded wonkily through the garden, toppling over and grazing my knees every five steps

I shared my toys with you, and what a good sport you were 🙂

Do you have any fond memories of a beloved childhood pet?

[I have posted a bunch of embarrassing childhood pictures before, here they are, if you want to see them]

Attack Of The 12oz Pug And Struggly Ducklings

On Monday’s family outing to Landsberg, we spotted this two month old pug.

Here she is with my mum

Now she’s wandering over in my direction, all unassuming and a bit coy…

…and the madness starts! She’s just about the length of my hand, and my hands are tiny.

Teeth like needles this one!

There was another funny animal-related incident in Landsberg, involving a family of ducks. You can just about make them out in the river, on the bottom right:

Mother duck was trying to teach her offspring to scale up the cascading water. The four almost grown ones managed to remain steadfast the current, but the smallest one couldn’t even keep his feet in contact with the slippery ground. He was paddling on all cylinders just to remain in the same spot, and he kept drifting back down the river again and again.

Here they all are, mum in front, four nearly grown ducks in the middle and the runtling struggling to keep up on the left

And she’s lost him again!

The mother eventually leapt up the first shelf, but none of the others followed, despite her best efforts to entice them. My mum, my brother and I kept cheering them on from the sidelines… to no avail. In the end, mother duck had to abort the exercise and return to less troubled waters.

Key West Day 1 – Doggy Nappies and Girly Shopping

After a loooong day’s travelling, involving a train, a bus and two flights, I woke up on a boat this morning. Or rather, a floating house. And if I crane my neck just a little bit more, I think I might be able to spot Cuba in the distance…

For the next two weeks, I’ll be posting from Key West, Florida. I’m staying with my dear friends Vicky and Ian, who moved to the sunny little isle from cold and drizzly London a year ago.

My view of the marina this morning. In case anyone’s wondering, that strange pink “garment” on the washing line is a dog nappy (diaper), as worn by Princess Pugsy. She had a stroke a few months ago and is no longer in full control of her plumbing.

And here she is, Princess Pugsy, who travelled from the UK to the US in style, voyaging across the seas on the Queen Mary II, because my friends didn’t want to subject her to being sedated (Pugs don’t handle the medication well) and shoved into an aircraft hold

My friend Vicky and the puglet as celebs of day in Key West’s local paper “The Citizen”

My first day in Key West featured some girly shopping (of course!!!!) and what better purchase to make than a pink leopard print rucksack with a matching pair of knickers