Hilarious Headlines – August/September 2013

On my weekly perusal of the food industry news, I come across some funny bone tickling stuff. Let’s get straight to it.

‘Sieg Heil’ Hitler Wine Label Sparks New Nazi Row In Italy (08 August 2013, Foodanddrinkeurope.com)

The H-word never gets old, does it…?!

Apparently, there's a whole selection of "historical greats" to choose from... poor Che and Karl, they aren't exactly in the most delightful of company :(

There’s a whole selection of bottled historical greats to choose from. Poor Karl and Che, I don’t think they’re enjoying the company at all! Oh well, at least they’re way over on the left.

US Man Bathes in 300+ Cans of ‘poppling’ Pepsi Max (12 August 2013, http://www.beveragedaily.com)

Certainly looks like it’s doing *something* for him. Hey, isn’t there some urban myth that cola dissolves meat…? This may well be the last time he’s had fun in the bathroom by himself…

Machinery Firm Says Japan is 15 Years Ahead in Cake Innovation (20 Aug 2013, bakeryandsnacks.com)

Let’s be very clear about this: Japan has no bloody clue about cake! Japanese kitchens do not even have ovens. Well, in recent years, they have started to make an appearance, but Japan has even less of a baking tradition than Spain. And that’s saying something. (Something terrible, as far as I’m concerned.)

This is what a traditional Japanese cake looks like:

You see what I mean?! Two pancakes stuck together with something horrible like red bean paste or whatever.

Dorayaki Cake. See what I mean?! Two pancakes stuck together with something heinous like red bean paste. Yeuch!

Vietnamese Authorities Unclear: Is an Orange a Citrus Fruit? (21 Aug 2013, freshplaza.com)

OK, I take that back. The cluelessness crown is to go to Vietnam. Sorry, Japan!

A clear case o identity crisis

A clear case of an orange going through an identity crisis

Brazil Pig Quotes Increase (23 September 2013, themeatsite.com)

The caption below the headline read as follows: “Brazil – In the first fortnight of September, hog quotes resumed increasing, affected mainly by the low volume of slaughter-ready animals”

So, instead of trotting off to the slaughter house like good little piggies, they are enrolling in poetry slams now? Watch out, Oscar Wilde, these Brazilian squealers are going to rhyme rings round you before too long…!

Out of the mouth of babes...

Out of the snout of Babes…

[To view the previous Hilarious Headline post, click here]

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21 thoughts on “Hilarious Headlines – August/September 2013

  1. Anna

    So, my sister actually taught The Beast a ‘Sieg Heil’ command. He stretches his left paw forward and up, and holds steady. It’s disturbing.

    Re: the guy in a tub – you have NO idea how long I’ve dreamt of taking a swim in a pool of Bud Light.

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  2. camparigirl

    I read about the Nazi wine in the NYT a couple of weeks ago. By way of explanation, the winery’s owner said “they just commemorate history”. Really. For the record, they have a Stalin wine too…

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  3. restridge

    I agree that Japanese cakes are subpar. Dorayaki cake is pretty delicious, but it’s definitely not cake. They also have “Christmas cake,” which is fluffy white cake with lots of whipped cream and strawberries. It’s a step up from the typical fruit cake, I guess, but it’s not very creative.

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  4. TBM

    You know, it’s hard to choose a favorite. I have to wonder if the Pepsi man’s wife put him up to the challenge and now she’s made a nice roast. Has anyone heard from him?

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  5. gina4star

    Haha, this is brilliant! I especially love the one about Japanese cake innovation (you are The Lady of the Cakes!!!) and, is it weird that I think the catorange is really cute?! Hehe, your job is so interesting in many ways!

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